


the lover's choice

by meliorus



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), M/M, i do not know why i like this toxic pairing but these are choices i make, inspired by Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28430679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meliorus/pseuds/meliorus
Summary: For Oikawa and Kageyama, gazing has always been a dangerous act.(a short orpheus/eurydice au for my favorite dynamic) (also partially inspired by portrait of a lady on fire)
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 30
Kudos: 92





	the lover's choice

This was never Orpheus's tale.

This was Kageyama calling Oikawa’s name, and Oikawa looking back, because how could he not? He spent his whole life looking back, and trusting Kageyama to be there. He spent his whole life running, knowing Kageyama would follow him. No rule in the living world, or the undead world, could deter his body from responding to his lover’s, his rival’s call.

He looks back, and Kageyama’s arms reach out to touch him, grasping at empty air.

-

For Oikawa and Kageyama, gazing has always been a dangerous act.

To look, and be looked at. An endless spiral boys like them were caught in. Spinning threads, playing games to reach a step closer, only for the web to fall apart. And then they start over.

The web started with them as young boys. Kageyama finds a boy with wings in an old volleyball court. The sun shines only behind the boy’s head, the dust rising with him turned into gold. Kageyama spins the thread. He arrives early to practice. He wants to glance at the boy again, to commit his movements and the perfect arc of his flight to memory.

There is power in looking. There is also power in not looking. Oikawa is aware of the young boy’s eyes that shine with admiration. Oikawa runs skywards for the jump, and he knows there are eyes on him. He sets a ball for the ace, and he knows Kageyama is watching his palms. It’s a quiet thrill to be admired.

Kageyama plays more, and gets better, spinning the thread tighter. Oikawa can’t not watch him. He can’t not overhear the coach talking about Kageyama possibly being a starter. Jealousy forms tendrils under Oikawa’s skin. He briefly considers gripping Kageyama’s wrists tight, bruising his perfect hands.

They touch for the first time when Oikawa is substituted. The hope and the anxiety muddle into one and Kageyama jumps when Oikawa slaps his hand hard. Oikawa retreats to the bench. The web grows tighter and suffocates.

They almost touch again when Oikawa nearly hits Kageyama. His eyes are ablaze, and his arm comes swinging, and Kageyama doesn’t raise an arm to protect himself. Iwaizumi stops him, and Oikawa stumbles back, gasping a sorry. The web falls apart.

Years later, Kageyama looks for him in Aoba Johsai. He doesn’t know if he remembers how to spin the thread. Oikawa enters an hour into the game, waves at Kageyama. A look for a look.

Oikawa spins the thread. He serves perfectly. And then serves again.

A look, this time accompanied with a pointed finger. Oikawa proclaims war at the end of the practice match, against Karasuno but also against Kageyama. Oikawa spins the thread once again. Kageyama looks at Oikawa’s alight eyes again. Victory feels insipid on his tongue.

Kageyama wins that war, but he looks into the vicious eyes so similar to his own, and knows the web is broken again. The grief of defeat is plastered on Oikawa’s face, hands still extended for the ball that long ricocheted off his arm. He looks at Kageyama’s cautious eyes across the court and relearns pain.

Oikawa runs into Kageyama at a convenience store at 1 am. Kageyama looks. A deliberate, wanting look, only allowed because they are alone. Oikawa walks out, and Kageyama follows, spinning the thread again. They kiss, and it burns him, but Kageyama is hungry, hungry, _hungry_.

Oikawa watches Kageyama through the small screen on his phone on a cold morning. Miles away, Kageyama touches his hands together, almost in prayer, and his gaze hardens. The thread spins. Oikawa’s chest feels stretched with want. He runs.

Years later, they look at each other across the court, with only the web of the net separating them. Oikawa in brilliant blue, Kageyama in the brightest red.

Kageyama looks. _Watch me_ , he asks. Oikawa looks back. _I always have been_ , he replies.

-

This was always Eurydice’s tale.

There is power in looking, and there is power in not looking. That's how their story ends.

The light is at the end of the tunnel, their footsteps growing louder, more real and less spirit. Kageyama calls Oikawa's name, trusting he will look back. Kageyama has spent his whole life following him, and knowing Oikawa looks behind his shoulder to make sure, to make sure he was keeping up. Kageyama calls his rival’s, his lover’s name, because even in the spirit world, Kageyama determines his own fate. Kageyama smiles and looks at the eyes so similar to his own.

Kageyama dies a second death. He would not complain. Was it not all he wanted? To know he was loved by Oikawa? To know he was _seen_?

**Author's Note:**

> this wouldn't have been possible without weez's thread about oikage + orpheus and eurydice. this also wouldn't be possible without the multiple people who pushed me to write this. a special thank you to alex who edited this and listened to my rambling. 
> 
> i am not a writer by any means but this idea possessed my brain and refused to vacate so here you go.


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